Remember this piece of advice about experiencing new things to help you grow as a person? Well, I really liked this one and I think I'm taking my best shot to incorporate it into my everyday life. New home, new language, new friends, new diet, new sports, new hobbies, new habits... All that to try to find my place in the universe where I could feel whole and at peace with myself.
And sometimes I feel like I'm getting there, just a couple more steps. But most of the time, I'm not so sure I can do that. It feels like such a struggle, like there are so many things changing around me, and I just want my old life back; if I could just curl into a ball in my old bedroom with one of my favorite childhood books and hear my mum calling me from downstairs for a cup of tea, with lemon and sugar of course.
But in those moments of uncertainty, I try not to lose sight of the bigger picture. You know, as a teenager, I never imagined myself in the place where I am now. I never thought so many beautiful, unexpected and unique things would happen to me: meeting the love of my life so early, studying something not-so-practical but which I feel passionate about, moving across the Atlantic, discovering blogging and being able to develop my passions. Yet, it all happened to me and I am grateful. I count my blessings even if they overwhelm me.
Why am I writing this? I'm not entirely sure. Holidays are ending and soon I'll be studying again albeit remotely, my last, fifth year of university, and fall always feels like a new beginning. Will it bring me inspiration to carpe diem and strength to follow my dreams?
i hope it does!
ReplyDeletei've just come home from having similar musings with a friend. When Autumn (fall!) arrives I always feel a bit sad as well as excited, i think this change in season always brings about change in our lives.
I hope that all your changes are positive ones :)
The last 19 months have been overwhelming for me too, at the beginning for sad reasons (lost my mom) and sometimes I have wished I could go back to my teenage years when life was sweet and easy and I didn't know what was coming.
ReplyDeleteAnd at the same time, I can't believe how much I have grown and all the exciting things I have done, and learned about myself and about life during the past year. Even though it's scary sometimes to know that life can be tough and we can't predict what's coming, now I kind of find it exciting and I have faith great things are coming too, in the middle of the mess :) Not sure if that makes sense.
Sorry for my ramble, I guess you inspired me :)
@A Certain Vintage: Autumn certainly feels like something new is coming! Thanks for your wishes, hun, and all the best to you :) xxx
ReplyDelete@Musing on Beauty: I'm so sorry to hear that, hun, I think I can understand at least a part of your pain - we lost our grandmother and my grandfather is very ill too. Looking back, I also feel as a child I was so much more carefree, but then also I wouldn't like to go back, being a teenager was also a difficult time for me and in so many respects I feel stronger and more at peace right now. Thank you for sharing this!
PS. I really like your new profile pic :) xxx
Nice post, life is full of surprises!:D
ReplyDeleteGood luck!:D
***** Marie *****
allthingsmarie.com
this is beautiful :) explains so many things well, without explaining anything in detail. a lot, i can relate to. hopefully we can meet for coffee soon ;) x
ReplyDelete@Marie: Thank you, sweetie!
ReplyDelete@fantastic: Thank you, hun. I'm looking forward to our meet-up! xxx