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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Minimalism in Manhattan

Woe is me you guys, we're moving in approximately a month - and it's stressing me out. Let me tell you, the apartment hunt in NYC is rather painful, the basic truth of which was recently highlighted by our friend moving from San Fran to Boulder, Colorado, where apartments are big, aplenty, energy-efficient and about a third of the price of renting here or in SF. We're actually moving OUT of Manhattan and into Brooklyn, but it doesn't really make a difference when it comes to what most apartments available for rent in our price range look like.

'Cause they're generally SMALL. I know it sounds kinda quirky and 'sooo New York' when a character in a movie is forced to sleep in what is basically a glorified walk-in closet, but no, it's not fun in real life when you're trying to find a comfortable place to live. Obviously, one of the solutions is to move farther away from Manhattan where you can get a bigger space in your budget, but Mr doesn't want to commute for over an hour and a half every day of the working week, and I don't blame him - he's already working so much that a longer commute would probably have to mean cutting out things like the gym or some relaxation time late in the evening.

However you look at it, if you live in or close to Manhattan, you better get used to having very limited space for your stuff. When we first moved here a year and a half ago, we already had to let go of a number of things: some furniture and lots of sports equipment like a crash pad (a mattress for climbing and bouldering), Mr's older snowboard, his mountain bikes had to go into storage in a remote location. Now that we're preparing to move again, I've begun the long process of culling our stuff again, trying to decide what's indispensable and what I can do without.

It's a bit of a different decluttering process - I'd say that generally, I'm quite organized and don't hoard completely useless stuff, so the decisions I've been faced with have proven quite difficult. Here are some examples: our bookshelf started to overflow thanks to some Christmas gifts and Mr's growing collection of programming books, so I had to donate some of my novels to the local libary (the knowledge that they're not going in the trash was what made it possible for me to say goodbye). I went through our kitchen cabinets and put aside pots and pans as well as foodstuffs that I wasn't reaching for regularly anymore. I have a separate bag of clothing, shoes and accessories in the closet that I keep adding to before finally donating the whole lot. The remnants of rarely used sports equipment lingering in the closet are regularly given the side eye, although I don't know if I can convince my husband to let go.

Some may say that this forced minimalism in Manhattan is a good thing because it teaches you how little you actually need for day to day functioning. I'm in two minds about this: on one hand, I dislike holding on to things I don't need or enjoy using, so yeah, that's great - no room for clutter anyway. But on the other, I also feel that these living space limitations are holding me back from things I may benefit from, or are making me feel wasteful for having to let go off things I'm still using but won't have enough space to keep.

To give you two tangible examples of what I'm talking about: I've wanted a Cuisinart mixer for years, but truth is, the kitchens in the apartments we've seen so far have so little counter space that it's just not doable right now, and at any rate, having so little space for someone who cooks from scratch every single day is pretty tough. To illustrate the latter problem, I feel pretty sad that I probably won't be able to keep my vanity table; it already had to be put out of our small bedroom and into a dark hallway in our current apartment, so I've gotten used to doing my make-up elsewhere, but I wish I could have that small space all for myself and my beloved make-up stash.

Let's try to stay positive: maybe I could embrace the tiny apartments, and attempt to live a minimalist lifestyle. In that vein, I've been mulling over the practicalities of capsule wardrobes that I've seen many fashion bloggers experiment with in the past couple of years. I have very little fashion sense so I sincerely doubt if I'd be able to put together satisfactory outfits from just a handful of things, and I guess my questions are pretty dumb: 'But what if you live in a climate that experiences both extremely hot and cold weather, and everything in between (like New York)?', 'What if you're into sports and need specialized gear for that?'. 'Do you have to throw away something you own every time you buy something new?', 'Do you just not buy any new clothes until something older falls apart?', and 'How do you not get bored out of your mind?'.

So I don't know if true minimalism is the way to go for me - right now it just feels like a panicky getting rid of a whole bunch of stuff. I can't help but feel wasteful for my past purchases that I have no use for anymore, even though when I first got them, my living conditions and needs were a lot different. I also realize that what I'm doing is not the fun 'I'm clearing out my closet for Spring, and now I can go shopping to fill all that extra space!', it's the 'I have no space for new stuff - from now on it's a strict "one in - one out" only'.

But even disregarding the whole limited space issue, I've been thinking about how much stuff we accrue over the years, where it's coming from and where it's ultimately going. I'm questioning whether in this day and age (in the first world), anyone wears out their things anymore - and so with the constant influx of the new and trendy, the old must end up being thrown or given away (and then I suppose it's mostly recycled into home insulation or something of the sort). The image of myself as a greedy monster continously devouring and spitting out goods doesn't sit well with me; but at the same time, I want to enjoy both thoughtful acquisition of new and possession of the old. I don't want to bar myself from the joy I feel from shopping for a small treat, and I don't want to force myself to use something I hate just to avoid the feelings of being wasteful. Where exactly do I strike the balance? I believe this is something I'll keep experimenting with, and doing what feels right in this moment is probably my best strategy, realizing that things will change as I grow.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post anymore, so I guess that means it's time to wrap it up. I don't want you to come away from this post thinking that I'm complaining or feeling sorry for myself - I think what I'm trying to say is that I need to change a lot of lifelong habits and it's making me feel a bit apprehensive. I realize it's going to be a challenge, and I need you guys to hold my hand for a bit - but deep down, I know it's a good thing, and I'm going to enjoy it.

Have you attempted or are you currently living a more minimalist lifestyle? If so, please let me know your experiences in the comments - I'd love to know how it's been working out for you! I'm aware that a lot of you are working on decreasing the size of your make-up collections this year by purging unloved bits and/or Project Pan/ Project Make A Dent, but I'd love to know if that mindframe also spilled over to other areas of your life. Inquiring minds want to know!

27 comments:

  1. It's one thing to choose minimalism, but to adopt it in a hurry is pretty anxiety-inducing! I lived in a studio apartment with a roommate for about 2 years, and only after moving to a larger apartment did I start looking into minimalism. It took about 2 years of wall-to-wall possessions for me finally realize I *despise* clutter, and to realize that if I haven't used something in that long, I probably won't ever. So even though I have way more room now for clutter, I'm constantly looking for ways to get rid of things. It gets addictive!

    My only issue is that I want a food processor for raw snacks, but that probably won't happen any time soon as I too deal with the constant struggle of limited counter space :P

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    1. When I think back on it, we must have owned A LOT less stuff when we first moved in together into a studio apartment as well. Maybe part of the problem was that we moved from that tiny apartment into a much bigger one, where we weren't really limited, and now we're back to those small spaces again, and it's difficult to get rid of things you paid hard cash for. But you're so right, getting rid of unloved stuff is addictive - just need to make sure I'm not replacing those things by anything else, and it's hard not to fall in love with new shiny things :D I'd love to have a food processor too!

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    2. YES it's so important not to reward yourself for making room -- I fell into that trap a few times. I'd soak in the amazing feeling of having all this space, then immediately run into a shop to replace the item with something newer/better/more expensive therefore it lasts longer type of item. Don't fall for it!

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  2. Yes! I have started the proces of discarding things and trying to change habits. Have you read the book Marie Kondo - The life changing magic of tidying up? Because that is what really got me going, and i've read a lot of minimalist blogs before that.. it just didn't kickstart me although I really liked the ideas.
    Lovely blog by the way! I would love to read more about your ideas and progress of minimalism!

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    1. I believe it's the second time a reader is recommending Mare Kondo's book to me, so in the spirit of not acquiring more things, I'll need to see if I can check it out at my local library :)

      Thank you for the kind words, I'll be updating on my progress periodically so stay tuned! There's also more posts in a similar vein under the 'Capsule Collection' label, although they mostly pertain to make-up :)

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  3. Happy to hear you guys found an apartment! Can't wait to get the grand tour once you're all settled in ;) I totally feel you about lack of space in New York City. I've lived in small apartments my whole life but even I'm taken aback by how teeny some spaces are. I routinely go through and recycle a bunch of old school notes (think all of those have been shredded by now), donate books to the library and give away clothes to my friends or donate them. My dad's passion is golf so his clubs and equipment occupy a portion of our coat closet. My mom loves to cook and bake so we have a Cuisinart mixer and a bajillion pans. It's totally doable!

    When I move out, I hope to only take a fraction of my belongings with me since I know I'll always have my bedroom in my parents' home (maybe that's an Asian thing to do). I totally get what you mean by having anxiety over the feeling that you're hoarding material things. I get that feeling all the time. I also have a fear of fires or other disasters consuming my apartment and all my belongings get burned to ashes.... Yeah.... I'm still learning how to go about the one in, one out thing. I'm not doing extraordinarily well but I guess there will always be room for improvement. For me, the only way I've found it super easy to be minimalist is when I'm traveling. When I studied abroad I barely decorated my room since I knew I was only going to be in that apartment for four months. I tend to pack super light when I travel because I'm more concerned about what I'll be doing rather than what I am wearing. Unfortunately, constant travel is not in the cards for me as of yet haha :)

    I could probably go on and on about this until you fall asleep so I'll save the rest for our next meet up!

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    1. We did, although I will say it wasn't easy! You guys are still coming over for a Polish dinner once we settle in, aren't you?

      When I moved to Canada and moved in with Mr, I obviously left almost everything I had had at my parents' house, save for two suitcases with clothes and accessories and some books & souvenirs. So really, the amount I'm dealing with shouldn't be that big, right? I think it just goes to show again how quickly stuff accumulates.

      Hahah, I don't ever have the fear of some sort of disaster turning my stuff into ashes (well, no - I stand corrected - I do fear for my passport, since I'm not a US citizen). And you're SO right about traveling; I've become a bit of a pro recently in packing light, I think I'm pretty good now at imagining the type of situations I'll be in and thus the clothing I need to take with me. And you have a very valid point, when you're busy traveling and focusing on other things, what you wear clothes or make-up wise becomes so insignificant that it makes you realize having 'one of each' type of item is perfectly enough. I guess in our day to day life, because the stuff we do routinely can be boring and repetitive, we want to be diverted by new material things. It's certainly something to think about!

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  4. Oh, I feel your pain. I thought that I was going to move into a smaller space last summer but it didn't happen so nothing really changed, but it did get me to think hard about all the materials that are accrued. I don't think that there's any shame in having a lot of things for the fun and joy of it, but there are times when a particular item just sits badly on the soul for whatever reason and you don't want to repeat that mistake. I'm not a fan of strict minimalism although I see the appeal in simple living. It's just that so many minimalist calls objects "crap" as if they've discovered a higher plane of existence and that just makes me want to give hugs to all my books and makeup. Anyway, it sounds like you've made some difficult choices already and seem at peace. Good luck with the rest!

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  5. I moved to Tokyo with only one suitcase once and lived in a studio with a tiny bathroom, tiny kitchen and only a futon and desk + chair for furniture. It's definitely not undoable, but I started to feel claustrophobic and also lonely without some of my stuff (which I had left with my parents) after a while, so I think I understand you.

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  6. I have to say that I adore this post and the way you've been sharing your thoughts lately, but I am really no help at all as I've never lived in an apartment or similar space and have no experience with minimalism - in fact, hoarding is closer to the problem I have! We are lucky to have great storage in our home and the fact that it's just the two of us in a 3BR means I hold onto far more than I really should...I often can't find things and things can get messier a lot quicker than if we had a slimlined stash! Looking forward to seeing how things pan out for your and your space, and I'll be looking back through these comments for tips as I often do with your blog!

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    1. Thank you for the kind words, Emma, it means a lot coming from you <3 I believe that as a kid and a teen, I used to be much more of a hoarder because I loved collecting random things: paper napkins, miniature elephants, seashells, random tins and boxes - I still can't resist a good storage box ;) I guess it all morphed into collecting make-up now, except I don't think I want a 'collection' anymore - just stuff that's loved and used! And yes, isn't the comments section the best? I sometimes can't get over how amazingly helpful and insightful blog readers are.

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  7. I've never moved into a small space from a much larger one, but I've lived in tiny apartments since graduating from college--my current place is about 175 square feet. My makeup collection doesn't take up much room, but my storage space is basically nil. I have one tiny closet for all the clothes that don't fit into my dresser, I have to keep my pots and pans on top of the dresser, and my bathroom is literally the smallest I've ever seen in an apartment. Plus, the cost of living where I am is almost as high as in New York, so I'm paying almost more than I can afford for this place. Ugh, the life of a grad student in a small, wealthy town with a housing bubble.

    Yeah, sorry, that turned into a whinefest when all I wanted to say was that I sympathize! I can't wait to have a real income and a real kitchen with an ELECTRIC MIXER. Oh man, that is the dream.

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    1. Hahaha, I don't mind the whinefest at all, we can all commiserate! I find it funny that an electric mixer seems to be the height of our dreams these days :D Adulthood can be super boring like that, no?

      Would you consider a post on how you store your beauty stuff and such? Not just the make-ups, I was thinking the bathroom stuff too. I find it pretty difficult to store products in a way that is clutter-free but easy to access. I'd love to hear your tips on dealing with the tiny space!

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    2. Sure, I'd love to do a post like that! I think my secret is just not *having* a lot of bathroom stuff, but who knows, maybe my storage habits can be of some help. Best of luck with the move! I searched for apartments in Brooklyn two years ago and ended up just not moving because it was so overwhelming.

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    3. In that case, I WANT to see your tiny stash! I'm diligently working on downsizing mine and it's coming along nicely, albeit slowly. Thank you my dear! I think we managed to find a really good place and I'm quite excited for the move. We're signing the lease today! xoxo

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  8. Seriously, Blogger!!!??! I was typing a reply (rather an essay) and it disappeared!! Grr... It's 10 PM here, way past my bedtime but I promise I'll write again (maybe in a more concise version) as soon as I got a chance.

    P.S. Looots to talk about, maybe we should sit down for a nice chat over tea... come back to Bellevue?? :-D

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    1. Mimi from Makeup Withdrawal just told me on Twitter the same thing happened to her. I don't know why Blogger is being so annoying - maybe it's time I should look into Disqus or something.

      Gosh, you have no idea how I would love to visit Bellevue for a couple days... I'm thinking about it, that's for sure. I definitely miss certain spots, like Cupcake Royale with their whiskey maple bacon cakes, or Din Tai Fung :/ What a shame we never met when I lived there!!! Big hugs to you, Claire <3

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    2. Monika, are you kidding me? NY is a paradise compared to the ol' Bellevue. I bet you can find a more delicious cupcake in your neighborhood than those of Cupcake Royale. And Din Tai Fung? Well, the wait is longer than ever now, even with a second branch in Seattle. Nuff said..

      Blogger: this is what happened to me: I typed then I pressed published but instead of a notification, I just got a page reloaded. Blah!! But now I know why, the form only accepts 4099 characters (mine are obviously looooonggg).

      At the heart of minimalism is choosing objects that satisfy our emotional & physical needs. Physical needs = functional items, easy. Emotional needs = much, much more complicated but it drives the majority of our possessions, especially I'm talking about us, who live in this part of the world. We have so much luxury to choose, if so, why not choose the very best, only those items that are meaningful to us?

      I talk as a hypocrite living in 800 sqft home, it is probably a mansion compared to your apartment. Still, I choose my possessions very carefully. I think I've wrote about the idea of "cost of ownership" in some of my posts, and those pesky emotional burden, just like what you describe: the feeling of guilt for acquiring, for seemingly wasteful, for wanting to enjoy purchases, finding a balance between enjoyment and acquisition, etc. Those are neurotic emotions that can simply go away if we 1. chose to confront the reasons & the emotional attachments we have within each objects and 2. learn to forgive ourselves and let things go.

      I think this is the heart of Marie Kondo's book. She is straight to the point that possessions = emotion, something many many many organizer/declutterer do not address. Rather than thinking of organizing solution, etc. I truly feel if one is to confront this face on, every other problem about possessions will disappear. (to be continued)

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    3. Marie does not stop at that, she made each event of "decluttering" an event of mental exercise, so to speak, to build our muscle. Remember we were talking about the makeup declutter mantra? Pretty soon, one will have a mantra to in regards to possessions. I can understand the fear of boredom of fashion sort by owning a capsule wardrobe, but I can tell you from experience, since I weeded out my closet radically, I have never enjoyed my clothes more and I have not buy anything new since (I actually have donated some). Wearing clothes that I truly, honestly enjoy to wear everyday, of the highest quality that I can afford, actually is a joy. I feel good inside those clothes -- isn't that what one is looking when one is contemplating a purchase, that feeling good inside?

      I also believe in readiness to confront such issue. In this situation, sounds to me the moving is imminent. You've got a lot on your plate already. If you have a temporary storage that you can afford, maybe do that first, and then, in the right set of mind-right time, you can start to confront those possessions one by one. I can understand the Cuisinart Mixer thing, I'm a crafter, and crafting things takes LOTS of space (like sewing machine, spinning wheel, drafting table, etc. etc.) -- I sometimes feel not having enough space is limiting my creativity -- I'm not even talking about owning more crafting stuff, I'm talking simply about having space for creativity to flourish! It is a tough challenge, but I do try to make it work. I’d open up my sewing machine each night after the Tod went to sleep, and pack it all back up when I'm done. Daily. Creativity is important enough aspect of my life that the nuisance of packing/unpacking is a small price to pay. Maybe you can think of a way to own a Cuisine Art Mixer and still use it in your tiny kitchen.

      Finally, this is something that none of us remember often enough: having less possessions is utterly freeing!! So freeing that there are endless possibility to do, be, or if one so choose, own more. In fact, that freeing feeling alone is enough to keep me "satisfied" inside not to own more. If one can feel satisfied inside with owning less, why not?

      All of us are work in progress, me included. I guess I'm not doing so well in terms of word minimalism ha, ha!! :-D Let us know how it goes with the move and all! Hugs right back at you <3<3

      P.S. If you do decide to read Marie's book, read it from start-finish first. Hopefully without judgement. Her ideas can be too.. saccharine, but once you close the book and distill the message, hopefully it'll become clear that her method is more of a mental/spiritual decluttering that leads to material decluttering.

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  9. Wait? You are moving away from Manhattan?! I was totally going to ask that do you want to hang out since where I live (Bergen county) is just a few miles east of Manhattan (and I think I am finally getting a hang of it/stopped getting lost). I can totally feel your pain about apartment hunting, I got scammed and lost 30 bucks (check cancelation fee, I backed out right away...as opposed to 2000 dollars.) and had to stay with a friend and her fluffy dog for a month (forever indebted to her)...Anyway, it was eventful (with the police and stuff) and became sort of a good laugh in our office.

    Anyway, I feel that the small apartment up here is actually beneficial to my hoarding habit (haha, just saying this because I moved here and only came with two suitcases), at least it forces me to be organized and not scatter them around like what I did in Texas. Anyway, I wouldn't trade the life here for a bigger apartment in other states though...

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    1. Hahah, wait - you're in New York now?! I totally thought you were still in Texas :) In that case, we definitely need to organize some sort of local beauty blogger reunion! I'll be in Greenpoint so still close to Manhattan, definitely not a problem to get to Manhattan.

      Wow, that is some scary stuff! I've heard about those scams but never personally from someone I know (because it totally feels like I know you :) I hope you found a good apartment in the end! <3

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    2. Well. I feel it would be silly broadcasting about being in new york when I live and work in new jersey(just on the other side of Hudson river and/ 10 min train ride to the city). Anyway, it took me quite a while to like NYC but now I think I need to be there 3-4 times a week to stay sane....Small town life is never my thing.

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  10. I really wish I could live a more minimalistic lifestyle! I hope to move to a city in the next few years and hopefully that'll encourage me ;) When you live in a house out in a small town, the minimalistic life doesn't seem to be as common haha! I hope the move goes well! I know how stressful that can be! My last move was with my family and my mother broke her arm so I had to do the entire move myself..not fun!

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  11. I always think minimalism is a wonderful idea - but then I remember it involves getting rid of stuff, and I back away with a big ole NOPE.

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  12. I think you have to embrace minimalism because you want to, not because you are being semi-forced into it. You should check out pinterest for storage ideas - you HAVE to HAVE a kitchenaid stand mixer! I live in the suburbs, so space is not an issue, but lately, I have been thinking that I have too much stuff. I'm slowly working at culling things like make-up, pots, shoes, maybe even the biggie - handbags. I'm in awe of people who can live with 2 shirts and 3 pants, but that will never be me. Will definitely follow your progress with this new goal! and good luck!

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  13. I'm a hoarder, so living a minimalist life is hard for me. I'm trying to work on it though, starting with my makeup collection and getting rid of stuff I don't really use.

    I think your best bet is just going with what feels right for you. Doesn't matter if that falls into the minimalist category or not; just do what makes you happy! I'm sure with time you'll get used to your new apartment and everything will be fine. :)

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  14. Ah, how did I miss this? I totally feel you. It's hard, since we haven't settled into a more permanent place yet - we're still in a completely transitional period with jobs and things like that, so we are constantly moving. I hate clutter and don't like feeling like I have more things that I can use/need (somehow this doesn't apply as stringently to makeup, ha) so it stresses me out to see us accumulate things, and usually this helps motivate to keep the acquisition of nebulous "stuff" to a minimum. But we are in no way minimalists! It's amazing how much "stuff" two humans and two dogs can acquire. Sigh.

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