Pages

Monday, March 23, 2015

Minimalist Monday: Marie Kondo's 'The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up' Book Review

Thank you for all the thoughtful comments and suggestions on my previous (and first!) minimalist post; special thanks to the anonymous reader who recommended I read 'The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up' by the Japanese guru of decluttering Marie Kondo. Soon after my post, I saw another blogger mention she was reading it, and the universe converged in my finally ordering it from Amazon (by the way, I did try to be a minimalist and get it from my local library, but I would have to wait for another 500 people to read it before me ;).
I was very eager to start reading it, and I devoured the whole book cover to cover within three days. If you're intending to do the same, I would just caution you against reading it in bed - I couldn't fall asleep, I was so over-stimulated by all the decluttering plans in my head. You're probably here for my answer to the most fundamental question: 'Is it worth reading?'. When I recommended it to my brother, he made a joke along the lines of 'What could be so unique about this particular book, it probably just tells you to get rid of your shit'. Yes, that it does. But to me, it was still absolutely worth reading.

If you've previously heard anything about this book at all, it's probably Marie's quirky catch phrase of 'discarding everything that doesn't spark joy'. To her, that the single criterion what should use in deciding what to keep - because the focus of the book is on things that you choose to keep, not the things you toss. She does elaborate on how exactly one is supposed to arrive at that decision (decluterring the entire living space in one fell swoop, the order of categories of things, emptying all the storage first and spreading things on the floor, taking each piece in one's hands, making the instintive decision quickly, expressing gratitude to your things, sorting them into piles of keepers and trash/donations), but essentially, that's all there is to her method. She also gives practical advice on storage solutions, which are extremely simple, examples of mistakes one could be tempted to make, and lastly, how decluttering your home will 'dramatically transform your life' for the better.

I know what you're thinking right now: 'So, did the book help you declutter and organize your apartment before the move?'. Definitely. I would say I had had a strong need to downsize even before reading her book, and it was the final push I needed to finally make some decisions about our belongings. I methodically went through my clothing, toiletries, books, papers, some sentimental items. Among my drawers, cabinets and files I found completely worn out socks, stained camisoles, clothes both too large and too small, supplements that expired in 2009, expired beauty products, damaged towels and sheets, broken cups, a fondue set we were given at our wedding and haven't used even once (Mr is allergic to cheese), novels I had no intention of reading again, Sephora invoices from online orders made in 2011, a work orientation file from 2008, empty manufacturer's boxes for broken phones that we long stopped using. You guys, I'm a pretty tidy and organized person, and generally know where everything is in my home, and how it's found its way there - but I was baffled. And a bit embarassed. And massively happy to throw those things away.
I did stray somewhat from her principles: I didn't dunk everything out on the floor, I didn't really do everything in one go, I have kept some things that don't spark joy (for now). Which is probably why I'm still finding more things I'd prefer to do without. Just the other day I was sitting in my bathtub, scrubbing the blue dye from my legs thanks to a pair of dark blue jeans that so far have been staining my calves for 5 years, and realized how ridiculous that was. Especially that I have another pair of very similar dark jeans that have never stained anything, fit much better and are more comfy to boot!

One area that I struggled the most with was gifts. I own a large amount of clothing and accessories that were generously given to me by family members and friends. Unfortunately, I don't wear the great majority of them, because they're either not my size or my style, or the friends have since turned to frenemies, and their gifts have very bad juju attached to them. Buuut... they were gifts! Someone spent their hard-earned money on them! What if I get rid of something, and the gift giver later asks if I'm still enjoying the present? Here's the quote from the book that resonated with me the most: 'The true purpose of a present is to be received. Presents are not "things" but a means of conveying someone's feelings. When viewed from this perspective, you don't need to feel guilty for parting with a gift. Just thank it for the joy it gave you when you first received it.'

I would say that overall, I tossed at least five garbage bags worth of stuff, and donated another five to Salvation Army. While I could attempt to recuperate the cost of some of my items by selling them to a consignment store or on eBay, I have neither time nor the energy to do that - and I realize it would be a very long process, which I can't have, as we're moving this week. Now, our belongings are still not at the point where they could be even remotely considered minimalist, but I'm okay with that. For now, it's enough for me to know that I am using, and ENJOYING, the things I've decided to keep.

One important point of the book that I have a bit of a problem with is how the followers of the Konmari Method never rebound, never go back to cluttering their lives and homes with extraneous stuff again. Even though I can now see a lot more clearly what I own and love (thanks to having less and the vertical folding method), I still feel the desire to shop for just a few more things to 'complete' my wardrobe. I have since been reading more books about minimalist/ simple living, and they touch on that problem in more detail; I'm thinking of devoting a separate post to that issue, and the solutions that have been keeping me from shopping for more. Let me know it that's something you'd be interested in; or maybe a tour of the closet, once we settle into our new apartment? I'm full of ideas!

Have you read 'The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up'? Have you already applied the Konmari Method to your belongings? Please share your experiences in the comments!

21 comments:

  1. closet tour closet tour closet tour!

    I'm trying to streamline and I fully understand what you mean by replacing things. I have gray tshirts coming out the wazoo, but throwing away the ones that fit poorly definitely didn't keep me from buying a new one this weekend (it's a different cut, i promise!).

    Hopefully this sort of relapse/impulse purchasing is part of the process (though I don't regret this tshirt for a minute -- I'm wearing it as I type and it's SO SOFT) on the way to eliminating spending/accumulation of the stuffs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahah, there will be one then, pinky promise!

      I understand your grey t-shirt addiction - I love grey tops too, especially the heather/marled greys. And sometimes you just need to replace something that's slightly off with a new staple, right? Man, a perfect tee is a difficult thing to get right.

      I think as long as you don't give yourself permission to go all out and BUY ALL TEH THINGS just because you decluttered two things from your wardrobe, it's still okay. It's mostly about not holding on to stuff you don't like or need anymore.

      Delete
  2. I have heard about that book before but I still haven't had a look into it.

    Some things are really hard to declutter though I've learned a lot in the past 5 years. In the next weeks I'm about to declutter my winter wardrobe. Thinking about the stuff I wore the last two winters, I barely used half of my wardrobe.

    I cannot throw away expired cosmetics (only if they don't work any more!) because they costed a lot of money and I use most of them. I give away things that don't fit to me. I've decluttered about 100 pieces and I'm mostly done.

    I'm also struggling with gifts. There are things I cannot wear or use because of allergies but the persons who have buyed this stuff really knew my taste! If there weren't any allergies, I would definately wear these and appreciate them. :-/ I still don't know what to do with them. I think it's a shame to give them away or sell them, since my friends and family really made me happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lila! Haha, I feel like my core wardrobe has always been my winter wardrobe, having lived mostly in cooler climates. This year, the winter in New York has been so long and cold that I got a lot of wear of all my warm clothing! I'm assuming it's quite similar in Germany too.

      Don't get me wrong, I use beauty products that are technically expired too, as long as I feel like the scent/texture hasn't changed. I think as long as you use those things and get them finished up, that's okay. But I did have some things in my drawers that were long, looong expired, and that I forgot were even there.

      Hmm, yes, gifts are very hard :( Maybe you could re-gift them to someone who may need them? I know re-gifting is taboo and sometimes just plain not doable, but I still feel it's better than having perfectly good stuff go to waste.

      Delete
    2. Lol I think my wardrobe should only contain winter and autumn clothing. Mayhaps some dresses which are wearable with leggins xD You're right - There is barely no summer here!

      Nice to know how you decluttered your cosmetic products. I try my best to buy less stuff as possible therefore I hope that I can get the best out of my technically expired stuff before it isn't usuable.

      Delete
  3. I'm pretty good at cleaning out stuff and throwing stuff away. Still, this sounds like my kind of book!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think anyone would enjoy it! I thought I wasn't hoarding that much either, but after reading it... Oh boy.

      Delete
  4. Glad you finally picked this book, Monika. Just like the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I did a blog post about Konmari Method of my wardrobe. I can honestly say, since I did it, I only purchased 3 items that really needed replacement and I've donated even more stuff. At least it worked for me. Book-wise, I haven't gained anything. I've also done her method of the Tod's stuff, it felt like a huge burden finally given up -- when you have children, everything becomes sentimental : their first t-shirt going to preschool, their first shoes on the first picnic outings, etc. Like I said before, sentimental stuffs are really the final frontier of decluttering. I know I'm not there yet 100% but I'm getting there. Hope moving are going well with you!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Claire <3 How haven't I seen this post of yours?! *goes off to browse your blog archive*... Ok, I found it! I imagine it must be super difficult with your child's mementos, I know my mom still refuses to get rid of some of mine and my brother's things. Just last weekend, my brother wanted to give away an old board game we used to love to his friend with small children, but my mom said no way - that he might need it one day for his own kids :) We're moving this Saturday, keep your fingers crossed for me! xoxo

      Delete
    2. Fingers crossed!!! Happy moving and keep us posted!

      Btw, I love the idea of "Minimalist Monday" maybe you can keep it as an ongoing series? Just an idea -- as if you don't have enough things to write about :-D

      Delete
    3. Claire, you read my mind, that was my no-so-secret plan :) I was thinking of doing it once a month, not to overwhelm readers not interested in minimalist content. But I have quite a lot of ideas for topics, so it should be fun!

      Delete
  5. I love the idea of giving away things 'that don't spark joy', but I'd be interested to know what method one uses to not accumulate extraneous belongings in the first place. Obviously not by the same method...*imagines being stood in a shop staring at a gorgeous lipstick..."does this spark joy? Uh, YEAH!"*....so I'd be interested to hear your follow up on how you keep it minimalist. Looking around the room, a fair few 'joy sparkers' were impulse purchases that have kept on giving, so I don't know if I would even want to be a minimalist shopper!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had the exact same problem with this book. Marie claims that once you declutter everything using her method, the change in your surroundings and yourself is so dramatic that you will never want to go back to your old ways, including shopping for unnecessary things. I've been reading some more minimalist books since finishing 'The Life-changing Magic...', and there have been some more suggestions in those, but not enough pratical tips in my opnion. I shall attempt to collect my suggestions in one post, it should go up... next month maybe? Haha, once I successfully complete this month of a complete no-buy :D

      Delete
  6. I have nothing constructive to say(as I am doing the opposite of decluttering right now)but the part about frenemies and bad juju totally cracked me up...somehow I guess it's good that I am not too sentimental(cold blooded?) about the objects from people so I can toss them periodically...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking about this lately and I have a lot of frenemies in my past - is there something inside of me that causes people to turn on me, lol? I think it's a good thing to have some detachment at times and be able to see things more clearly - like when getting rid of unwanted gifts :)

      Delete
  7. I've heard a lot of great things about http://erin.doland.org/about.php and I have read several chapters of her book even which I liked. I've given away a lot of my things already and plan to give away even more.

    Sometimes I think I could make a lot by selling it all but, as you've said I don't have time/nerves for it.
    And, yes, I'd love to see your "wardrobe tour."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will check it out, thank you for the recommendation, Marina! Haha, decluttering gives you the best feeling, doesn't it? I will try to do a wardrobe tour when we settle down - not sure how I'll manage the details but I'll do my best!

      Delete
  8. I feel like I see this book everywhere on the internet. For me, I'm in a bit of a strange state; I have an entire wardrobe of things in my old (now too big size) and while slimming down to my current size (for the moment?) I literally had to buy clothes (practically a complete wardrobe, underwear bras and surprisingly shoes as well - some of which are now to big too!).
    But then we are planning to start trying for a baby in the next 6 months so do I really want to spend hundreds of dollars on new maternity wear when I could just pull on a stretchy jersey dress that I wore a few sizes ago? Thus my current conundrum.
    I've been selling things here and there; there are a lot of easy apps to do that these days, but you are right. It does take time. I also have given things away (to family) and donated items to charity and thrown things out, but my wardrobe at the moment is far from minimalistic and it's mostly due to my own body changing every few months. I always feel like these authors always have the perfect body, never gain or lose weight or always lose the baby weight. For the rest of us normal people, it's not so simple. Or perhaps they have a secret storage space for these items that they don't share with their readers! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know exactly what you mean :) While my own size doesn't fluctuate too much, I have had plenty of things that didn't fit right; some of them were gifts and not even close to my size (like when I received a very nice pair of wool leggings, except on me, they were cropped... not exactly what you want for the winter season). In the end, I mostly got rid of anything that didn't fit well, but my main problem is that I still have a lot of clothing and shoes for very specific purposes: snowboarding, tennis, once-a-year Christmas party dresses.

      I believe most decluttering authors advise to get rid of things that aren't your size anymore, because even if you go back to that old size at some point in the future, you will not want to wear the same things anymore. I would maybe dedicate a box to things you want to keep that may be useful for the pregnancy for example, put things in there to get them out of sight for now, and in a couple months time when you need them, see if you really want to pull anything out. It doesn't give you the immediate satisfaction or completely getting rid of something, but it's a good way to get things more streamlined for the time being.

      One thing that I was quite surprised to find out was that I do perfectly well with very few items of clothing for a given season. Sure, I get bored after a couple months and want to try something else, but now I'm thinking that for when I get pregnant, I would probably only need a couple new items: maternity black leggings/pants, a dress, maybe a few tops - I'm hoping I could still use some of my looser fitting tops. When you think about it, the time your bump is really pronounced isn't really that long. Well, that's my theory for now anyway, I'm sure it'll change once I actually am pregnant, lol.

      Best of luck for the baby and your decluttering process - please update me on how it goes when you get a chance! <3

      Delete
  9. I just re-read this post and realized I didn't comment on first viewing because I wasn't very interested in the book back then! I was mildly curious but felt your review gave me a good idea of what to expect. I'm wondering now what the other slow living/minimalist books you've read are and whether you would still review those! I recently started following a few bloggers in that category and while I have no desire to be minimal in the strict sense of the word, their approaches, rationales and attitudes are extremely helpful and motivating. I agree that reading this book in particular was very stimulating. I was reading much of it in a coffee shop and could hardly wait to get home to tackle my mess! I don't think that I'll lay everything out on the floor either but then again, maybe I will. I hope not to rebound to the level that I am currently at.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Liiiizzz :) You know, I've gone through a phase of reading any book remotely considered 'minimalist' that I could lay my hands on, and now I don't even remember all the different ones I've read, but I've been thinking of maybe putting together a list with mini reviews for another 'Minimalist Monday' - another one is coming next week, by the way. I'll put that on my post ideas list! But in essence, KonMari's book was still the best I've read on the actual decluttering process versus other minimalist ideas such as overcommitment, focus at work and what not.

      I didn't do the whole 'spreading out on the floor' thing either, mostly because I don't have that much space and don't want to sit on hardwood floor to sort stuff out, but I think the main reason why this element is so important is that it hits you in the face with 'Holy sh*t, do I really have this many tops/ lipsticks/ books/ document files? When things are neatly tucked away, it's difficult to get a visual of how much you own.

      Delete